Saturday, July 24, 2010

R.E.S.P.E.C.T is earned. P.E.R.I.O.D.

Living in the world full of clown with too few circuses has made life so unbearable sometimes. When it comes to R.E.S.P.E.C.T, it is not something easily understood. Being an abstract entity, R.E.S.P.E.C.T is hardly present in our society now, despite budi bahasa budaya kita campaign, there are still bonkers who feel they are A.L.W.A.Y.S superior than others are.

First concern would be R.E.S.P.E.C.T between students and teachers. Socially, teachers are always on the higher rank than students are. Thus, for students to earn respect from their teachers, they have to respect their teachers first. Is it difficult? I don’t think so. If this is hard, then you should go and live in a cave befriending the beasts. I had a student, surprisingly female, coming to my class with a snobbish attitude and toffee-nosed face. I really have the feeling of slapping this haughty face. You snob around in my class, why should I respect you? First concern would be, who on earth do you think you are? Secondly, why on earth should I respect you when you can’t even show R.E.S.P.E.C.T to your classmates, what more to say A grammatically correct sentence in English? There! What is there to snob about in front of my face, for Godsake?!

Second concern is R.E.S.P.E.C.T between parents and teachers. Biologically speaking to the children, yes, parents socially are of higher rank than teachers are, nevertheless, when it comes to teaching learning process, issues of the approaches, I don’t see why parents hold higher social status than teachers, U.N.L.E.S.S the parents involved are teachers themselves, or have been excellent educators. T.H.E.N, T.H.O.S.E parents only have the rights to questions the teachers’ actions. Yet, I don’t think parents with enough knowledge in education as well as parenting would question teachers reactions over points happening in the classroom. I convincingly believe that, only shallow parents or worse spiritually blind parents would interrogate teachers regarding their actions in the classroom. When a dog comes barking at you, would you smile to the dog and say, “good dog! Sit!” you wouldn’t right, would you?? The same with teachers, should you appear to be so down-to-earth, I would in any way find sometimes to entertain you. On the contrary, should you come barking at me like nobody’s business, I would just ignore. I will be become the mountain and no matter how the wind howls, the mountain, WILL NEVER bow to it. Learn this, if you think that you are greater than others are.

Above all, when I come to think about it again, slightly more rationally, I just realize that, the most essential matter is actually about respecting oneself. The way you see yourself is always the same way people see you. If you are so full of yourself, then you are plain pompous, no doubt about that. In some point, you may think that by being pompous you are great, but to me, being pompous is plainly explaining that you are shallow, it could either be, malfunction brain, or too small of a brain in size that you are unable to digest simple unit such as R.E.S.P.E.C.T is earned, NOT asked!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

What makes a man ...

Of late, I have been reflecting a lot about the society that I am in. The incident when a parent lost his sanity over an incident involving his child in my classroom, made me feel like going out observing what is actually happening around me, in my small community of the so call international and Islamic. It is not that before this incident took place, I was not aware with the things that are taking place around me, yet being in the small department, which I belong to, it seems to be gruesome that we actually have people who feel that their money and power they own makes them reputable.

I finished class at about 10am on Friday, the only class I have for the day. I made my way to the cafeteria, not forgetting to drop by the patrol on duty. It started off with a simple hi and how are you. Out of nowhere, I blurted the question on how the new batch has been.

Then, one of the patrons started to pour out her views on how some parents have been behaving when dealing with them. From her story, I came to my realization that, the parent who barked non-stop to my authority was not the only case. The patron told that she was once being yelled at by a parent who came to fetch his child. It is her duty to check the students’ whereabouts. It’s not that they are busybody. It is not that they are nosy. They are shouldering their responsibilities. The amanah given to them by the university. This parent was apparently yelling at her questioning the reason of her questioning his child.

I could not help but feel extremely annoyed with this type of imbeciles. They should have been shot to death. The difference between a person and a dog is his aqal, is that difficult to understand? I don’t think so since I think that no one will bite the dog which bites you, would you? Nevertheless, by judging at the situation that the patron and I faced, I just realized that, THERE ARE people like this. People who will bite the dog that bites them ...

What a pity ... when you claim yourself to be educated, knowledgeable, a timeless traveller across the globe, a diner among the rich and famous, walking tall among the ministers yet, you just forget where your brain should be placed! How loathsome to be look upon to! Please, sir, do you mind finding yourself a seat and please find your brain and fix it to the place it should before you start scolding people who you think you can scold and scoff just because you have money and power. Dear sir, we may not have money and power, but we have brain, Alhamdulillah ... hope you find yours soon sir, chai chien!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

My Dad is WAYYYYY BETTER than Your Dad! (Part I)

I hardly discuss things with regards to my dad. It's not that am not proud of my dad, but it is merely because my dad doesn't dote on limelight. It is an irony that being a football coach, yet he is very shy. He doesn't fancy publicity. He doesn't hanker for attention. He doesn't angle for publicity, he doesn't have hunger-pang for attention.

My dad is just a family man. To us, my sister and I, our dad is just our dad. We are not TAUGHT to BRAG about him. But what happened to me last week, really made me feel that I SHOULD BRAG about my dad. But, the bragging of my dad, doesn't concern anything to do with who he knows, whose name he can quote, or what post he hold, but BRAGGING about my dad is about me telling the world how proud am I of my dad for making me who I am today with his awe-inspiring doctrines of life.

Question : WHY MY DAD IS BETTER THAN YOUR DAD, huh X?
Answer : It is because of the following ...

My dad is a person who hardly lose his cool. My dad is the coolest guy I've ever met. He would never lose his cool for petty issues such as me being canned in front of the classroom, in front of my classmates because I did not do what my teacher asked. He wouldn't go and harass the teacher involved because my dad BELIEVES in the teachers. He sent us to school so that we become better people.. For that reason, he puts his trust in the teachers in school in making his daughters, O.R.D.I.N.A.R.Y H.U.M.A.N, who can face life on their own when life is harsh, never S.P.O.I.L. B.R.A.T.S. who always go home and talk bad about others for the sake of saving their own moronic, off the wall faces.

On top of that, my dad also will NEVER EVER make use of the rich and famous he knows for the sake of himself or his family. He also would NEVER EVER name drop persona he knows when people blow their trumpets in front of him. He would just smile and walk away. See?? My dad is cool. Hahahaha. He is not easily ticked. He WOULD NOT take actions without giving thorough thoughts of the effects and consequences of his actions to his own face and us, his family members.

The blood that runs through my dad's veins is the blood of a warrior. My late grandfather was only a fisherman. BUT he is the greatest grandpa and greatest man I've ever met. He was a man of fewer than few words! (Can you imagine???) He won't fight people verbally, he won't blow his trumpet hard, he won't threatened, he, per contra, acted on a dime. He would walk up to his foe and drew his parang as answers to challenges and threats instead of telling the whole kampung that he wanted to have a fight with the ones who challenged him. He did not say a word. To me that is A MAN. A person who just barks and keeps barking about things is NOT A MAN. A REAL MAN executes, he doesn't bawl...ACTION IS LOUDER THAN WORDS! (have u heard of this?) So as my dad.

That is where my dad inherited his cool attitude, which later is chalked up by my sister, then myself. As of these points, then I realize that my dad is WAY BETTER than your dad! (shouted to you-know-who, again ... and will definitely do it again and again and again ....)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Ain't it irony?

2010 marked the 7th year of my teaching career. I have done fairly good I would say for my motivation and passion to teach seem to be fluctuating every now and then for so many reasons. Yet, deep down, I really do not see where I should be if I were not a teacher. I do not think I am fit to be any other type of officers for the reasons that my beliefs and principles as well as the ways I look at things insinuated to be against others, most, if not all the time. (LOL, crazy me, ain't i?)

Of late, I received an unpleasant and intimidating email from a parent questioning my act of shooing the child from my tutorial for being irresponsible, intimidating and insulting in my territory. I was not aware where the child actually inherited those qualities until I accidentally read the email sent to me, four days after the incident.

In my eyes, when this parent actually name drop a few big shots in the email, I could not help but wonder, what is this person up to? With the limited knowledge of critical discourse analysis that I have, together with the help of a friend who does better at analyzing and observing, we had a short chat regarding the short email.

In the end, I managed to come to a conclusion that made me feel the urgency to extend my utmost sympathy to this kind of people. Knowing the fact that this person is a nobody, X had just had to come up with something to ensure the email looked extremely glowing that it might blind my eyes. Again, I could not help but smirk, when I went through the email a couple of times. It is such a pathetic idea that someone with kinda strong educational background would have thought to adopt this manner in order to outshine. I am just wondering whether the society really realize that the bigger the shot you know, the smaller you are in terms of importance? Hmm .. when I come to think of this again, I realize, so many people in this world are actually do not know how powerful and how meaningful words can be when they are proportionately weaved semantically.

On top of that, I would also want to ask whether these kind of people know that what makes a man is his attitude, charisma and confidence? Do they realize that the act of name drop symbolizes stupidity, insecurity and impracticality? May be NOT, that's why they are practicing this (a LOL to them!).

To cut matter short, I would just like to express that I do not in anyway entertain this kind of people. Name drop is not atomic bomb drop, so I still am alive and kicking, I may be intimidated, a lot in fact, yet my intelligence will never be insulted by such a small matter. I do not owe them anything anyway!

What a pity!

Daaaa!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I just lost THAT faith ...

It is only going to be the sixth week I think .. but I have already lost the will, the interest, the passion and the motivation to teach ... am suddenly sick of things around me in campus ... what should I do?

Monday, June 14, 2010

What the heck!

Hello! this is already the third week of the semester ... The timetable is still chaotic ... Pity d person in charge BUT

REALLY HATE D STUPID IDEA

OF WHOEVER IT IS THAT IT

SHOULD BE COMPUTERIZED!

WTH!!!!


feel like a retard who can't even plan what to do next and what is going to happen next ... am so going to curse the IDIOTS who suggest this computerized system till the end of the world! They introduced, they washed their hands ... they always let others clean their SH*T ...

Friday, May 14, 2010

Is it wrong ...

It has been sometime since I started where I am now ... I started off as an effect of love towards teaching ... but being me isn't easy ... I got very attached emotionally to a few ...


There was a call today that made me wonder, was I doing the right thing, or was I actually destroying ... Having difficult time being the eldest in the family I realize that things aren't always easy for us ... I took almost 26 yrs to figure that out ... Once figured, I left my comfort zone ... I ventured to a harsher world ... World of My Own ... I wasn't very happy about it, but today, THAT thought me to be contented.


But the question is, " is it right for me to advise someone dear to my heart to do the same?" We may not take the same road ... But to me, taking the road not taken, teaches me a lot about life ...

From a cry baby, I am stronger ...
From a weak soul, I decide more ...


But do I have the right to ask someone else to do the same?

I couldn't help but wonder and I always end up keeping quiet at the end of the road ...

How could I force someone who can't believe there is road at the end of the tunnel, to see the road without enough light presence?

Instead of telling, I should have just listened,
Instead of saying, I should have just swallowed ...

All I should do is pray ...
All I should ask is patience ...

May Allah bless, may Allah provide u with the best ...

I love u, now and always ...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Here comes the 'no-teaching' weeks ...

It has been sometime since I last dropped by. I had so much to say, yet so little time to spend. *sigh*

The confirmation process that took place Friday, May 7, 2010 officially marked the end of the 3rd semester of the academic year of 2009/2010, thus marked the end of the academic year of 2009/2010...Dear Allah, how time flies.

I had roughly set my mind to have at least a week before the 2010/2011 batch comes.

I would be free between May 8 - May 16 ...

May 17, I am scheduled to have the new EPT format marking training in PJ between 8am-430pm

May 18 - 20, I was scheduled to attend BTN, somewhere over the rainbow ...

May 21, I will be in Nilai for Key Personnel Meeting ... 6th in 2010

May 22-23 will be weekend ..

May 24 will be the EPT intake exam in the morning

May 25 - 27, I will check in in Eastin Hotel, Petalin Jaya for centralized marking ... sounds nice, sleeping over in a hotel to mark, but the timetable?? urghhh ... don't wanna say...

May 28 - Wesak

May 29-30 - is the last weekend before the Semester 1, 2010/2011 classes officially start.

Fuh! I myself feel tired writing down all these ... but what to do ... duty calls ... hmmm

I was hoping not to see trouble makers this semester ... Will try MY very best not to scold, but this time round, WILL DEFINITELY KICK them OUT of my class ... hahaha ... new sem new approach!

Well come to MY world new batch!

p/s: thank God BTN is not happening due to some stupid donkey arrangement that quietly changed the schedule to May 24-26 .. sorry we are dang bz dat time, u go for urself! (but thankful in so many ways that I can spend more time at home wit my cats! yeay!)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

It's been sometimes ..

yeah, it's been sometimes since I last dropped by ... I dunno what to say, or rather, too much too say that I can barely blurt them out ...

it's 2010 now, Alhamdulillah, am still alive and kicking ... but am not sure for how long more am gonna be blessed with this miracle of breathing ... what ever it is, Alhamdullilah, praises to Allah . the most merciful ...

2010 also marks the seventh year of my teaching career. i started off back in 2003 with so much belief that i can last very long here. but lately, I dunno, i just feel lost. I keep on wondering why am i here, hav i achieved what i've planned to be ... i dun plan to be the greatest, but enough to be a teacher who touches life. i believe in it so much when i first started, yet today i really feel d lowest of myself.

teaching isn't like before anymore. last time, everytime i went to class, i was excited, i was always looking forward to see my students. but why today, i can't be the same? Have i lost myself after the 6th year of service? I can't!

have i become a teacher who is boring? or have i become a teacher cum mother who is always nagging? I dunno. I seriously dunno. I feel like i dunno myself anymore. or am i too lethargic with this game of traveling far to work, not getting the right feedback from my students?

it cud b another reason why i feel am bored wit my current workplace ... not wit the job, wit the place, wit the students ... d responsibility that i shoulder really is killing me, my responsibility, helping my students to go thru college to have a better life ... their responsibility, to have moral attitude towards their own future, which i think is extremely scarce in some students .. which in turn, pissed me off and make me sick!

i wish i cud react ignorantly to my responsibility as much as my students do ... but, i've promised, i dun wanna b THE English teacher ...

Allah, help me please, give me strength to be better!