yeah, it's been sometimes since I last dropped by ... I dunno what to say, or rather, too much too say that I can barely blurt them out ...
it's 2010 now, Alhamdulillah, am still alive and kicking ... but am not sure for how long more am gonna be blessed with this miracle of breathing ... what ever it is, Alhamdullilah, praises to Allah . the most merciful ...
2010 also marks the seventh year of my teaching career. i started off back in 2003 with so much belief that i can last very long here. but lately, I dunno, i just feel lost. I keep on wondering why am i here, hav i achieved what i've planned to be ... i dun plan to be the greatest, but enough to be a teacher who touches life. i believe in it so much when i first started, yet today i really feel d lowest of myself.
teaching isn't like before anymore. last time, everytime i went to class, i was excited, i was always looking forward to see my students. but why today, i can't be the same? Have i lost myself after the 6th year of service? I can't!
have i become a teacher who is boring? or have i become a teacher cum mother who is always nagging? I dunno. I seriously dunno. I feel like i dunno myself anymore. or am i too lethargic with this game of traveling far to work, not getting the right feedback from my students?
it cud b another reason why i feel am bored wit my current workplace ... not wit the job, wit the place, wit the students ... d responsibility that i shoulder really is killing me, my responsibility, helping my students to go thru college to have a better life ... their responsibility, to have moral attitude towards their own future, which i think is extremely scarce in some students .. which in turn, pissed me off and make me sick!
i wish i cud react ignorantly to my responsibility as much as my students do ... but, i've promised, i dun wanna b THE English teacher ...
Allah, help me please, give me strength to be better!
it's 2010 now, Alhamdulillah, am still alive and kicking ... but am not sure for how long more am gonna be blessed with this miracle of breathing ... what ever it is, Alhamdullilah, praises to Allah . the most merciful ...
2010 also marks the seventh year of my teaching career. i started off back in 2003 with so much belief that i can last very long here. but lately, I dunno, i just feel lost. I keep on wondering why am i here, hav i achieved what i've planned to be ... i dun plan to be the greatest, but enough to be a teacher who touches life. i believe in it so much when i first started, yet today i really feel d lowest of myself.
teaching isn't like before anymore. last time, everytime i went to class, i was excited, i was always looking forward to see my students. but why today, i can't be the same? Have i lost myself after the 6th year of service? I can't!
have i become a teacher who is boring? or have i become a teacher cum mother who is always nagging? I dunno. I seriously dunno. I feel like i dunno myself anymore. or am i too lethargic with this game of traveling far to work, not getting the right feedback from my students?
it cud b another reason why i feel am bored wit my current workplace ... not wit the job, wit the place, wit the students ... d responsibility that i shoulder really is killing me, my responsibility, helping my students to go thru college to have a better life ... their responsibility, to have moral attitude towards their own future, which i think is extremely scarce in some students .. which in turn, pissed me off and make me sick!
i wish i cud react ignorantly to my responsibility as much as my students do ... but, i've promised, i dun wanna b THE English teacher ...
Allah, help me please, give me strength to be better!
